Being "Saved"

And I mean those quotation marks this time, because I'm trying to convey a sense of confusion about what that word means.  See how that works, guys?  Quotation marks can be your friend.  (PS I saw a sign on the way into work -- Your "Hair Styling" Shop!  UGH.)

Carter's 8 now, and has known who Jesus is and that he died on the cross for him since he was 6, and what all that entails.  He's not been baptized yet though, because for a while we weren't sure if he truly understood what being baptized meant, or that the act of being baptized isn't what does the "saving."  He was also very nervous about having to be baptized in front of the whole congregation -- for such an extrovert, sometimes he really can be quite shy.  But he's planning to be baptized in June when our church does a beach baptism, and every once in a while we talk about it.  The other night he said something to Dallas about not being sure he was saved, and since he didn't really have time to get into it with him he told me about it and asked if I'd try to ferret out what Carter really meant by that.

So the other day we were on our way to get Sarah Cate from school, alone in the car (read:  captive audience) and I asked him if he thought he was saved, if Jesus really did die for his sins, and we had a good discussion about that.  Coming from the non-churchy background, I try to explain some concepts differently than Dallas might -- I remember how confused I was about Jesus "living" in my heart when I was little.  I thought he might have a little door and some furniture in there.  Kids take things so literally, and when you've grown up in the church and you're used to the "churchy talk," you forget what it's like to try to explain it in a way that's palatable to people for whom the concept is new.  I had to make my way through all the new terms when I was 28 (like when the heck did "fellowship" become a verb?) and I remember what it was like.  (What's a testimony?  Why can't they just call it your story of how you came to know Christ?  Because it's shorter, I guess.)

Anyhow, I asked him if he had any doubts about whether he was saved, and he said yes, that he didn't know for sure if he was.  So I asked him why, and his answer I think is probably textbook for a lot of new Christians (and maybe old ones too) that, "I still sin sometimes."  He knows Jesus took the punishment that he owed for all the bad things he did up until the time that he accepted Him -- but he was having trouble with the fact that he still messes up even after that.  And of course his version of "sin" is just the times he gets in trouble for stuff -- he knows hurting people and stealing and lying are sins too, but those are mostly things grown ups do and he's more concerned over the stuff he might lose his DS over.

I think this is something lots of people misunderstand -- this notion that once you accept Christ, when you finally realize you can't do everything on your own -- that your life is going to be perfect from then on, or that you will always have perfect behavior.  Yes, your life does change, remarkably.  Yes, you are a new creation -- you're different and you can see it and feel it.  But are you still going to mess up from time to time?  Absolutely.  Are you going to have tough times?  Geez, yes, you are.  You're going to buy a house and spend most of your savings on it and THEN find out that all the air conditioning ductwork is shot and that fancy home warranty won't pay for it.  Are you going to use your resources unwisely and realize you've taking what God has given you for granted?  Probably, at some point.  Will people close to you hurt, go through troubles you can't fix, maybe pass away and leave you to navigate on your own?  Maybe.  What I'm saying is that when you accept Jesus as your Savior, you don't get this All Inclusive Fast-Pass to a Pain-Free Existence.  God doesn't say we're going to have a trouble-free life, but He does tell us He'll be there with us, through the valley of the shadow of death, if it comes to that.

Carter was under the impression that since he still screws up from time to time (has bad behavior, makes unwise decisions, generally acts like an 8-year-old with a little sister), that that somehow erases his salvation.  Or lessens it, somehow.  It doesn't work like that.  Once you're saved, you're in like Flynn.  You don't lose your salvation.  I looked up Romans 8:38-39 and read it to him:

38  For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future,nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

And I asked him if he could think of anything that wouldn't cover.  Seriously, can you?  Maybe up till you get to the "nor anything else in all creation."  Then that pretty much covers it.  So yes, you'll screw up, even after you're saved, and God's not some cosmic Santa who grants you forgiveness every time you do it just so you can run out and do it again.  He doesn't pass out Get Out of Jail Free cards to negate what you just did when you mess up, like M&M's to potty-training toddlers.  But knowing God changes you in way that you almost can't define, and it makes you not want to do the things you know are not pleasing to Him.  You want to ask for forgiveness, and repent of it (another churchy word -- it means you say you're sorry and you truly have no intention of doing that thing again).  You want to give grace to others because now you understand what grace really is.  You want to forgive others because now you know what it's like to be forgiven.  There's no guarantee it's all going to be sunshine and rainbows and snuggly puppies, in fact I can just about guarantee at some point, an unhappy thing WILL happen to you and you WILL do something you're ashamed of, because you're a sinner.  But God has a plan no matter what comes next, and you're in it.  

Once we talked through some of that, Carter understood things a little bit better.  And so I asked him if he had any more questions, and he asked me how car antennas work and what radio signals were.  This is how he signifies that a discussion is over -- there's no blinker for a left-hand turn or even a heads-up that a discussion is over.  It's just a bank to the left and you better hang on.  So I guess we're good till the next crisis.  And now I gotta go look up everything about radio signals so I say the right thing.  (Not that I might tell him there are little people singing in the dash every time I turn on the radio, that would be misleading.  Thanks, Uncle Ken.  I believed that for far too long.)